Dear Natalie,

I agree about it being "difficult and upsetting when one of your children doesn't talk to you. Those checking on What's App times sound distressing before finding out if she was still alive. It sounds like the question of risky behaviors was involved. How wise of you to invite your daughter in in a way she could share--in a family group chat. Great initiative there, woman, mom. Yes, you have opened a door, and I'm thinking it may be on some level comforting for her to know you are there. Best wishes to you with this relationship with your daughter. What else could one do? You sound resourceful and dedicated to your daughter. I'm so sorry you can't have a closer relationship right now. And there are some circumstances and lifestyle choices tat make it very difficult for an adult child to be close.

One of the people who responded gave me the idea that a parent could ask, What could I do to gain your trust and to have a good relationship? The idea came from her saying her parent would need to not only apologize but make amends, and show behaviors that were safe. What do you think of this question?

Thanks so much for reading and for sharing your honest experience.